She’s still on her smartphone!”, “Can’t make her let go of her video games”… Since the boom on the Internet and the advent of smartphones (the famous smartphones) in the early 2000s, screens have invaded our lives. In the US and Canada, an adult spends an average of 5 hours a day in front of a screen (television, phone, tablet, computer…), according to the public health agency.
Children, on the other hand, remain glued to a screen 4 to 11 hours per day on average. The biggest question. What is the impact of this digital consumption on the cognitive development of youngsters?
For neuroscientist Michel Desmurget, research director at INSERM and invited on 19 September on France Inter, excessive use of screens plays on children’s ability to concentrate, language and aggression, as well as their quality of sleep and academic success.
Want your child to let go of screens without creating permanent conflicts? Difficult, but not impossible. In their book Dose, the screens as a family (ed. First), sophrologist Isabelle Frenay and addictologist Bernard Antoine give keys to switch to “slow digital” while preserving the parent-child relationship.
Here are 10 tips selected by the editors of We Tomorrow
1. Start by letting go of your smartphone
If you ask your child to let go of his tablet while you have your nose on your phone, let’s be honest, your credibility could take a hell of a hit! Children observe their parents’ behavior from infancy and will seek to imitate them at an early age.
Growing up, they will also seek to get your attention, or even get angry if you continue to “be there without being there”. 26% of 12-14 year-olds feel that their parents use their mobile phones too much, the authors of the book recall, citing a February 2018 CSA study.
2. Adopt method 3-6-9-12
Child psychiatrist Serge Tisseron has developed a simple method to regulate access to young children’s screens: the “3-6-9-12” rule. He advises to avoid putting a child in front of a mnitor before 3 years (a guideline took up by the Higher Council of Audiovisual), to gradually introduce screens between 3 and 6 years, then to allow the personal game console from 6 years, Internet browsing from 9 years and the use of social networks after 12 years.
3. Set up a usage schedule
Once the boundaries are clearly established, visual support is a good way to memorize them while making them more concrete. Just take a large sheet of note on the days of the week, then color the time slots where your child is allowed to use his game console or family tablet. Hang it in plain sight. As a bonus, it also allows you to quickly visualize the time spent in front of a screen on a week-wide scale.
4. Time spent on screen
“Another 10 minutes!” Who has never heard this story? In front of the screens, the “10 minutes” quickly turn into half an hour or even overtime. To regain control, you have to set a timer and be very firm, even if the child insists: after the hour, it is no longer time. On smartphones, apps like Off Time or Moment can send reminders at pre-set times (just before bedtime, for example) or after a certain amount of time.
5. Don’t use screens as a reward or punishment
Contrary to what one might think, depriving a child of a screen to punish him or allowing him to reward a good attitude is counterproductive. The book’s authors are based on a 2018 Canadian study, which found that when access to screens is used as a carrot or stick, children use them an average of 20 minutes more per day than others.
6. Talking to your child
It is better to avoid leaving a child left to his own devices in front of the television or with a tablet, which will certainly entertain him but leave him in the position of passive spectator. Choosing the program together, discussing what he has seen, recalling rules for the use of the Internet (image rights, fake news…) are all ways to exercise his analytical capacity while maintaining dialogue.
7. Create rituals without a family screen
One of the best ways to disconnect is to offer activities to do with your family away from screens. Cooking, gardening, walking in the forest… You’re spoilt for choice. These new rituals make it less difficult for children to separate from the screen. And to combine the useful with the pleasant, why not offer them to decorate the family use schedule? (see advice 3)
8. Clear unnecessary apps
They are designed to make you want to click and keep their users connected for as long as possible. Practical and playful, applications can lead us into a time-consuming spiral. It’s time to do a great sorting on your phone and on the family tablet. For each application, ask yourself the question: is it really useful? Will I launch it at least once a week? Uninstall non-essential ones (games, gadgets, etc.) and block notifications.
Another trick is to switch your phone screen in black and white. Without the colors of the applications and notifications to catch the eye, the brain will turn away from them more easily.
9. Replace your phone with other items
Modern smartphones can perform a lot of tasks, making them highly addictive. We check them on average every 6 minutes, sometimes without even receiving notifications. Using other objects to perform some of its functions, such as a watch to read the time or a paper diary to record appointments, will help ward off temptation.
10. Agree to wait… and bored
In the metro, in the waiting room, at the bus stop… We almost unconsciously pull our smartphones into situations that are perceived as boring. This reflex actually deprives our brain of the opportunity to disconnect and give free rein to its thoughts. Children (and adults!) need to be bored to develop their imagination and maintain a good balance. Think about setting up time without activity, and encourage them to look around and find something to look after without going through the screen box.
